We all agree that motherhood brings with it the most soul satisfying experiences we have as women. But many times we find ourselves alone without friends, let alone mom friends, because the art of mothering takes so much of our time. That is why it can be hard to make friends, let alone an entire group of friends. Why can’t we combine the two? There are so many amazing benefits to having friends in our lives: they enrich our lives and boost our overall happiness. Here are some tips for making the ultimate mom squad.
Why a squad
As most moms know, it’s hard enough to make one friend so why a whole group? The more the merrier! The more people that you bring together the more likely laughter will occur! More people also offer unique perspectives. Different than having one best friend, a group of friends offers something unique, a familial-like support system. It does not have to be a large group. Keep it small. The important thing is to have a group of different people that you connect with on different levels. There is power in numbers. Life happens and friends can get busy, so it is important to have a support group just in case you need someone to lean on or to celebrate with.
Embrace the Awkwardness
Accept the awkwardness that is inevitable in making new mom friends. Yes, making new friends will be awkward. It will feel remarkably reminiscent of dating. The first play date will feel a lot like the first date. The awkward conversation starters. The insecurity. Did you text too much? Should you not have said that off color joke? Push through, because just like dating, after you find your match in another person, your soul will be happy to have a mom-squad worthy friend. Perhaps one day you can even reminisce about the awkward first date!
Make a (Play) Date
After you find a potential mom friend, make a play-date. Be wild, do a girl’s night without the kids. Relax and be yourself. See if the person is someone that you connect with when the kids are not around. Not every person you think would be a good match will end up being so. That is okay. Don’t give up and continue to be positive (and move forward). It may take a while to find the right person to befriend but that is what makes true friendship worth it.
Embrace The Differences
Variety is the spice of life. It is important to find like-minded friends that share values and goals. But, not everyone will have the same parenting philosophy or beliefs, generally. That does not mean the friendship isn’t meant to be. Find someone who adds strength to your group. As important as it is to befriend those with similar philosophies, it is just as important to befriend those with different philosophies that you will be able to learn and grow from. Likewise, they can grow from you.
Nurture Wisely
We’ve read it a thousand times. It’s quality over quantity. Nurture the relationships that matter. Time is your biggest and shortest commodity as a parent. It’s the most limited resource. That is why it is so important to nurture the relationships that matter. Those are the ones that will last forever and enrich your life for the better. Those are the ones to put your time, energy, and resources toward.
Bring It Home
A mom squad is not going to create itself. It is going to take intention. Most likely, you are the one that will have to plan the first few events. After you find a few friends that you connect with, here are some ideas to bring everyone together:
- Host the ladies at your house. See if everyone is compatible. A house provides an intimate environment free of distractions (except for the kids of course).
- Happy hour – It doesn’t have to involve Sex and the City drama to be fun. It feels good sometimes to dress to the nines and do a girl’s happy hour.
- Community Festival – festivals provide entertainment for the whole family. This is the perfect place to involve the significant others to your mom squad.
- Park Day – Plan a park day. The kids will be occupied and your mom squad can bond.
And finally, your hard work will pay off. You will have the ultimate squad to enrich your life and will create motherhood memories that enrich your soul. Good luck forming the ultimate mom squad!
For more, check out why Why Moms Need Friends.